Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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