found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
