i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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