I think my fart just growled at me.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
