I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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