I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
not ubering you a puppy
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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