her vagine was all disorganized.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
