The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
i now understand why vodka
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
