Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
