we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
