I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
