Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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