wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
