please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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