dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
