dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
