Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
