I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
