Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
