Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
