Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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