The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
