I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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