bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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