just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
