I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
