morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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