TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
