haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
