I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
