i barfeds in our rink
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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