whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
