I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
