So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
