Non-Jews are for practice
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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