I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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