My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
