I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
