Soap is not a condiment
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
