I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
