I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
