READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
