My first STD was from a foam party
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
