I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
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