Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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