Screwed.edu
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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