Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
