sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Randomize
