K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
