just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
