I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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