I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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