i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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