oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
