I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
