it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
