ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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