I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
