There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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