There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
