i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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