Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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