I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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