This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I would ride that face into the sunset
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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