Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
