Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
