genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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